I Hate Myself

For being such a failure.

4 times.

Still fail.

WTH.

Again, I made mistakes which I have nv nv nv made before. No immediate failure yet super high score.

What's wrong with me?

Why must I make new mistakes everytime?

Why can't all the mistakes just happen at one go so I can pass the next time?

I'm damn angry with myself.

I spent so much time, effort and money and yet I still fail. When can I ever pass?

I'm so ashamed of myself.

I have nv failed one same thing over and over again for 4 times for goodness sake.

I'm so scared of failure. Especially it has happened so many times already.

I feel like taking a knife and stab myself. WTH ARE YOU DOING! WHY DID U FAIL AGAIN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!

I really don't know.

I can bring my lubby luck. Finding a gd carpark slot when he is with me, spotting the right questions, remembering and knowing the solution of the exam questions after looking at my "pom pom toy". And yet, I can't bring luck to myself? for 4 times?

I really feel like giving up. Really.

I have nv felt so dispaired b4. This 打击is really sumthing I can't take.

I'm so scared that the 5th time will be another failure.

Then, I dunno what I can do.

God, pls help me. Pls tell me what I need to do. Pls teach me what I can do.