Emotional

Was chatting with yeek last night on MSN, realised that somehow we were facing the same problem.

Feel that she can really understand my unhappiness and 无助ness, just like in the last post.

I guess you can only fully understand a situation and feeling IF you have experienced the same thing before.

I do love my parents. I do love my family. And I know that they love me too. Just that, perhaps, their way of showing love is something which I can’t accept at times.

I knew that when she threw cold water at me, she is just worried and being concern or simply naggy. But no1 loves to be thrown cold water at. I can try to control and ignore, but every words she said still hurt me. That’s because she mean a lot to me. If not I wouldn’t even have cared.

Generation gap. That might be the reason.

I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I just want her moral support in the things I do. I don’t need all the cold water. I just wished that she can share all my joy with me and not giving cold and negative comments.

Yes, I know her thinking is traditional and different from me. But now we are no longer living in the 60s or 70s. Time has changed. And so we have to adjust our thinking too right.

You guys may not know it, but I do have restrictions made by her. I’m not having as much freedom as you all are having. And I never rebel to all these restrictions which I do not agree to. I just quietly accept and obey. But deep inside me, I need the freedom. I’m not a kid anymore. I’m already 25 years old. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself well enough. I want to lead a life like the other 25 years old can at times.

I wish that I can go out as often as I wish to. I wish that I can go out as late as I wish to. I wish that I can do whatever I want. But I still will make time to have dinner at home, spend time at home. (That’s what I’m doing now)

Seeing the difference between her and grandma, I can see the same thing between her and me. Seeing the way she got 气煞by my grandma, it’s just like how I feel at times when I talk to her.

Whatever it is, I still do love my parents. And sometimes I even feel that I didn’t do enough, though to others I have done enough. But, I just wish that they can be a little more supportive.

And I’m really happy that I have a supportive lub lub who is always there for me when I need him. He shares my joy and sorrow and speaking to him always makes me feel better. Thanks lub lub.